I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
