I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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