I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
