sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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