I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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