Ambien. No doubt about it.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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