Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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