I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
