she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
