hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Damn victory sex feels great
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
