Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
