your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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