ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
