i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
