i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
