sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
