If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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