he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
