Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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