8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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