I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
