shes about as inviting as chlamydia
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
