i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
