I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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