I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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