Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My breasts were aching with rage.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
