Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She told me I should be a condom model.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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