I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
