Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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