I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
