Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
