Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.