remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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