It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.