I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.