Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
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a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
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I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...