i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
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I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.