It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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