32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
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I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?