Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
