Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
