with your own penis?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
