If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize