Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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