I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
