covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
