Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
