This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
smell my finger.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
