As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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