Don't make out with my wife yet
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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