i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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