You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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