Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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