12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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