Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
