her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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