Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
