is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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