i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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