He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
