Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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