I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
