he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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