I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
