Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
