yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
