I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
